tungstens:

we all have a favorite eyebrow

(Source: fzur)

524,801 notes

beastboy:

chameleons have such cute hands

image

look they’re like little mittens

272,282 notes

suzysils:

I think I’m going to write a book called “‘Four Hours Is Definitely Enough Sleep’ And Other Lies I Tell Myself”

257,635 notes

everniam:

keep your friends close and your laptop charger closer

182,792 notes

in-vagina-we-thrust:

niggablvd:

My girlfriend just asked me to learn sign language with her so she can tell me how bad she wants to fuck me in front of my parents

Keep her

348,100 notes

srkdall:

5265ad:

I’m grown but I’m not grown grown

Which means I know how to ride a dick but I’m still not sure how taxes work.

104,068 notes

sebastiandebeste:

*hears a single word from a foreign language that i know* Wow. haha not to toot my own horn or anything but did you guys know that you are in the presence of a sophisticated linguist

122,594 notes

sabrielshipping-charliebartlett:

"We’re preparing you for the real world"

I don’t meant to alarm you but

the real world has calculators

76,635 notes

carryonmy-assbutt:

lolfunnow:

My brother and his wife got in a fight last night. She apparently used his phone as a ninja star.

how hard did she throw that

carryonmy-assbutt:

lolfunnow:

My brother and his wife got in a fight last night. She apparently used his phone as a ninja star.

how hard did she throw that

230,218 notes